Canadian historian not strong enough to overcome temptation

After nearly a decade of painstaking work, Canadian historian and University of Toronto professor Brad Barnewyck was ready to put the finishing touches on his 1000+ page treatise detailing the history of Canada from European discovery all the way up to confederation. All that was left was the map on the inside cover.

Professor Barnewyck's faculty peers noticed him doing the final touches on the book, but looking oddly haggard and red-faced. When they asked him what was the problem they noticed that he had a large Mercator projection map of Canada added to the document and was about to hit save.

"Brad, no! I know it makes Canada look really big but your whole work is about giving the reader an accurate picture! If even the academic community keeps on using it then then the Mercator projection will just grow in strength!" said one of them.

"Yes...Canada in this map...it is indeed very big. Very big indeed." said Professor Barnewyck, more to himself than to anybody in the room.

"You must destroy it! Hit delete and put a more accurate projection in before it's too late!" said another professor in the same faculty.

Hunched over his keyboard Professor Barnewyck licked his lips and turned his head back slightly to where his coworkers stood. For a moment he looked visibly conflicted. But just a moment. The next moment he smiled, and just said: "No."

And then he hit save.

Professor Barnewyck's new book goes on sale October 1st!

Mulcair to release fully costed family vacation plan this week

Montreal -- Thomas Mulcair to release his long-awaited fully costed family vacation plan this week, after criticism over its feasibility.

Mulcair today spoke about the plan, calling it a realistic and still fun one. He was questioned about whether his "first class flight to London, five star hotels and twelve-course meals for two whole weeks" vacation plan was a reasonable one given the circumstances, responding that "I've always fought for family vacations, and of course we're still doing exactly that. In a city the size of London light pollution makes stars difficult to see at night but we are still going to stay at a hotel of at least five visible stars. I promised that. Twelve courses over two weeks works out to a total of 168 courses and at a few courses a day we can meet this course quota by this quarter or the next. So it's still loads of fun."

Mulcair did apologize for the choice of words "first-class", however, saying that he had been unclear: "First just let me say that I've always fought for airplane class. Now in this case when I said first class I had assumed that my family was as much an X-Men fan as I am, and knew that it meant "a seat on an airplane while watching X-Men: First Class." I apologize though if anyone took my words the way they were never meant to be taken."

Party insiders have told umCanada that the sticking point over whether to release the fully costed platform on Wednesday or Thursday will hinge on the choice of London, England vs. London, Ontario.